Where I was when I first saw "The Toxic Avenger"!

Their are seminal moments in all our lives. Some people can tell you exactly what they were doing the day Kennedy was shot. I, however can tell you exactly where I was the time I first saw a movie that would change my life. It was not Gone with the Wind, that I was watching but rather The Toxic Avenger. I was a fan of the cartoon series, The Toxic Crusaders and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was based on a horror/comedy movie. My Dad refused to let me rent a movie that was a hard "R". Hard "R" is the term used for an film that is loaded with sex, violence and curse words. There the film stood on the video shelf, in its dusty Lightning Home Video box. A huge picture of Toxie was on the box holding his secret weapon, (A mop). I knew I must see the film but how?

A few weeks later I had to spend the night at my Grandma Margie's apartment. (You see where this is going?) My Grandma is a very sweet lady with red curly hair that nine times out of ten is in a pretty good mood. She decided to take me to rent a video so I wasn't bored. I convinced her "The Toxic Avenger" was the only thing in the entire video store that I wanted to see. (No interest in Americathon or The Sex O'clock News.) At the time nothing scarred me more then missing limbs on people. So I kindly asked the video store lady if there was any missing limbs in this film. My Grandma was extremely embarrassed. I had did it and finally got my hands on a copy. I was extremely excited.

I had taken my bath and was now ready for this film. On the couch was my Grandma and Grandpa. My Grandpa had grown sickly towards the end of his life but in his younger days resembled Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront. He was a long shore man also with whom I was named after. His nickname was Moon and I do miss him. I put the video in and it was nothing like the cartoon. This nerdy mop boy named Melvin was being pushed around by some bullies at the gym he worked in. One of the punks looked similar to Corey Feldman. This film gave off a sense that the unexpected could happen. I was nervous that at any moment my Grandma may have cause to shut it.

Melvin had to clean the locker rooms when the gym closed down and he walked in on the Corey Feldman look a-like having sex with his girlfriend. Her big bouncy breasts on the screen. It was awesome and I loved it. My Grandma instantly jumped up and shut the tape off. Boy, was I disappointed. I waited till she walked out of the room and then I slid down the couch next to my Grandpa. I earnestly said to him, "When she goes to bed, lets put it back on". He started to laugh which he rarely did. (My Grandma always tells me that I'm one of the few people that actually made him laugh.)

I eventually did see The Toxic Avenger in its entirety and I loved it. I still love it. I had seen my Grandpa a little bit more before his passing away and The Toxic Avenger always reminds me of being ten with my Grandparents. The last time I saw my Grandpa, he slipped me a ten dollar bill when I was leaving. I used that ten bucks to buy a Web of Spider-Man comicbook. Its strange to realize that comicbook is my last link to him.